walking away

You might end up thinking it was just a usual game,you might avoid them believing they are here for nothing but to mess up with your peaceful life. You end up thinking they are temporary and months from now you will never see their face again.

You are pretending it,not actually believing. Deep inside you do not want it to end like anyone else.Deep inside you never want it to get over because this is the only thing which makes sense after such a long time.You do not want it to end because their mistakes makes you perfect,a thing which you always wanted to be and that scares you.

It is scary that one day they will leave like everyone else and you would not know whether you are falling or lost forever,you are scared because you can not see yourself in mirror and call yourself perfect again.You then won’t know how to stand back again as below you is lying shattered hopes,drunk memories and you as a person whom you may never see again. You are scared because once they leave you will also be lost in deserted lands.You will not be able to say goodbye to yourself.You will disappear without knowing how to survive again.

While you are cooking up all this in your head you won’t know when you started acting like it’s really happening and end up hurting them and in between yourself “again.” You start pretending that you don’t care,you start behaving as if their company is a burden to you,you start pretending that you’re heartless,you pretend they are worthless and wasting your time,till the time you’re no more pretending but actually you’re feeling the same.

You actually push them to the edge from where it’s hard to return even if they insist to stay.Through all this fighting and pushing away what happens at the end is tired of making effort to stay they decide to walk away.

Till things fall into places,

s.

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